The process called Mindset for Success (also known as The Dialogues) starts you on a course for unplugging from external authority and finding your True Self. The 12 Dialogues culminate in defining your interior life and then learning to live life in your newly awakened True Self.
Since developing the spiritual process in the early nineties, I have received an overwhelming validation of their need and value. During the last twenty years, I have continued to make them available to my clients as well as other coaches who want to bring them to their clients. The Dialogues have begun their travel around the world and now encompass a global society.
My intention is, and always has been, that the universal spiritual process of The Dialogues is not to be associated with any one religion but rather it honors and includes all people. Indeed, The Dialogues are a religion of life, a joyous celebration of everyone’s innate spiritual nature and power. Students have reported deeply moving experiences resulting in awakening to the presence of this internal spirit. We are all one. Thus, uncovering the spirit within each of us holds forth the promise of an eternal life for us all.
With the latest developments in neuroscience, I am now confirming what is behind their success. The Dialogues sustain the change because they change the brain.
Before describing these Dialogues in detail, here are some broader concepts concerning the exercises.
In our original child state-of-being, we are open and flexible in the way we interact with the world. The brain is a very plastic organ at birth easily molded by our experiences in our early life. The sparkling aliveness of a child illustrates this divine state in which feelings naturally unfold.
Certain ideas and opinions, planted in us as reality by the authorities in our lives, are often detrimental to the natural expression of our feelings. A particularly powerful authority figure can dominate our behavior, inhibit our ability to assimilate new ideas and information, and “freeze” our natural flow of feelings. This external influence can cause our brain to become repetitious and produce blocks to our creative flow of energy. As a result, we adopt a False Self to handle this dominating authority-presence in our lives.
These external influences force us to protect, even hide, our original True Self and to adopt a way to cope with such pressures. Conformity is the goal of the False Self, and we accept certain false beliefs that stymie our natural expression of feelings. As the True Self is lost, our False Self chooses a particular coping style to handle the outside world, and we become a Controller, a Pleaser, an Avoider, a Perfectionist, Critic, or Doubter. Our inner dialogue can become negative, avoiding, judgmental, doubting, blaming, or critical. The journaling process, established in the 12 stages of The Dialogues, creates the structure for reworking our past heritage and restoring our original true or positive voice. Each of us hears a running dialogue in our head each day – some are positive thoughts, but most are negative injunctions.
The quickest way to reinstate the flow of our spontaneity and movement toward growth is to begin to listen to our own internal dialogue. After several days of dialoguing, a clear image of our False Self emerges. With this image, comes the chance to uncover your True Self and put it in charge of your life.
Dialogue is the way you get to know yourself. Dialogue reclaims what is lost in growing up – the ability to feel fully and freely and in the moment. These Dialogues are already in you – waiting to be heard.
As you work through The Dialogues, your life coach will provide examples of how you can use these Dialogues in your individual experiences. You may notice that the more difficult a particular Dialogue feels, the more potential it contains to help you restore your feelings and find your True Self.
Since the purpose of writing The Dialogues is to find your True Self, it will help you to know the difference between a True Self state of mind and a False Self state of mind.
Definition of the True Self: The True Self in all of us is the divine image in which every human being is created and manifests in uniqueness, intrinsic value and unlimited potential. It is through our permission that the True Self is unleashed to spiritualize our nature and inner power.
Definition of the False Self: The False Self in all of us is the limited image of ourselves that we have developed as we have gone through life trying to protect ourselves and please others. It seeks happiness in gratifying the basic needs and it bases its self worth and identity on the approval of others.
During the Mindset process of writing The Dialogues your coach will help you discern the difference between these two voices.
The Dialogues: A Personal Integrity Development System
What do we mean by the word “dialogue”?
Dialogue in this process called Mindset for Success means the self talk that is always going on in your head. This self talk is how you communicate with yourself. In most people, this inner chatter is critical, demanding and not motivating. In the process your life coach will take you through, dialoguing will begin with listening to this monologue (talking to yourself), understanding and defining it so that in the later Dialogues, you can begin to talk back to that “inner critic”. The ultimate goal is to end the process with an inner voice that is supportive, uplifting and stimulates high energy for you to go out and meet those goals and dreams you have in life.
In summary, dialoguing can mean talking to yourself, writing to yourself and includes “dialogue” with your life coach. As a result of this work, your dialogue with the world will change into a more positive response to your world.
The Dialogues require a commitment to honor the development of your personal integrity – it is not a counseling process. There are 12 Dialogues, and each Dialogue requires approximately two life coaching sessions. Time is not the emphasis, thoroughness in each step is. Your life coach will assist you and call for accountability during the process.
The Dialogues shift your point of reference in life. You no longer look to material objects or outward success for approval, acceptance or fulfillment. You learn to look within, to develop a connection to your unique inner voice – your intuition – and grow into your own authenticity.
The Dialogues bring your thoughts, words and actions into alignment with your personal truths, values, and character, creating the integrity needed to lead and motivate your personal and business relationships. Your goals are achieved with increased focus and less effort, providing more energy for personal fulfillment.
Dialoguing with yourself may include journaling, tape-recording or talking aloud to yourself. In the Mindset program you are taught to dialogue first through writing. The choice of writing as the medium for teaching internal dialoguing is based on the evidence in research that shows the benefits of writing. Later, you will strengthen your True Self’s voice by talking out loud to your Self. One client compared the morning ritual of writing to stepping into a shower and scrubbing off all the outside dirt, to reveal a clean and shiny True Self.