Gardner Institute Blog

Mine is:  I remember best the Christmas my Dad was sick and we were at the hospital to open gifts. I realized how important my family is to me.

Other people told me:  The one I recall is the Christmas I decided to make homemade gifts. I gave each of my family members a wall hanging I had made with a Christmas message of:  “Joy” or “Peace on Earth”.  Most people said things like:  When I was seven, Santa came to visit, in person, the night before Christmas.  I loved the Christmas my grandparents stayed with us.  I remember the time it snowed.

What is your best memory of the Christmas?

Deciding on a Title

As many of your know I finished my book and I am currently writing a book proposal to find the right publisher.  I want to ask your help in deciding on a title.  I am told that a publisher will help you with a title and may want to influence you.  But in the meantime, I need to put a title on it.  I have considered all of the below but want to know which title, without knowing what the book is about, makes you want to pick it up and buy it.  Here are some possibilities:

The Transcendence Process:  12 Stages to Finding God.

Unlimited:  12 Steps to Activate the God within You.

Divine Intelligence:  12 Steps to a Personal Relationship with God.

The Jesus Brain: 12 Stages to Unlock the Secrets of Divine Intelligence

Going Beyond Human Limitations: 12 Steps to Reach God.

Let me know which one you like best!  Thanks in advance for the help.

I like the Jesus one! It grabs me with curiosity and intrigue!!

Saturday, the Advanced Mindset Class met to discuss coaching Dialogue 9.  I took them through a neuroscience meditation that Daniel Siegel had used at the conference I attended last month.  The purpose of the meditation was to help the coaches practice shifting their minds back and forth from False Self to True Self.  They also learned how to keep their focus on their own inner self while coaching at the same time, important because we as coaches need to be the stabilizer in the coaching sessions.  We want to support while still keeping the focus on the client.

But the most remarkable thing happened in our three hours.  We started out talking about our wins and we spent two hours just sharing and congratulating each other on our successes in building our coaching practices.  Vernita’s, Melissa’s and Maggie’s goals for the class are being met as they shared their coaching businesses were flourishing.  Others shared wins in their personal lives. Hooray Mindset Coaches!  Getting the dialogues out to as many people as possible!  That is my goal.

We usually end the time by going to lunch together but MiMi Heines the organizer of our lunches was home sick.… Continue reading →

Holding a Space:  Believing passionately in our child’s potential helps them create it and make it a reality.

When Jessica was four, I held her bicycle for her to get her balance.  When she was five, I held her hand as she walked into kindergarten.  When she was twelve, I held my breath as she tried out for the basketball team.  Today, every day of her life, I hold a space for her to walk into career success, perfect health, loving relationships, and happiness within her own heart.

Holding a Space:  Believing passionately in our child’s potential helps them create it and make it a reality.

STEP THREE:  Move Out of the Way.  The third step is about a parent’s moving out of the way of the child’s experiencing his natural consequences in life.  We as parents sometimes mistakenly feel we need to step in and protect.  At times this is apparent like when they are about to run into the street but most times it is important to have an underlying faith that life brings to us exactly what we need.    Even in this seemingly dangerous world out there, the loss of security can serve a greater purpose- to shift our child’s focus from reliance on the outer to trust in their inner self.  So we must be careful not to steal from our children these opportunities to learn difficult lessons   What your child resists will usually persist and come back in the form of another trial until they master the lesson and can move on.  Life is about this process of learning.

Easier said than done with Jess and I.  I so wanted to protect her from the consequences of her decisions.… Continue reading →

Definition: Holding a Space:  Believing passionately in our child’s potential helps them create it and make it a reality.

STEP TWO: Hold No Specific Expectations for Success.   It may seem confusing to ask you to NOT hold specific expectations when I have just instructed you to design a Grand Vision.  Herein lies the paradox and proves that parenting is the most challenging job of your life. This Grand Vision must be without specific concrete expectations.  Pressure from parents to achieve their dreams can be over whelming to a child.  Just ask any little leaguer!   Carl Jung, a famous psychologist believed that one of the most destructive powers of parenthood is a parent’s unfulfilled life projected on a child with specific expectations.  I had wanted Jessica to have a college degree. I had waited to get one myself until I was an older adult.  I had wanted Jess to get one immediately after college. Both her parents had PhD’s.  That must feel like pressure to a nineteen year old.

Expectations ruin a child’s chance to become his or her true self.  The child will either feel pressured to please or react to the pressure by pulling in… Continue reading →

Definition:  Holding a Space:  Believing passionately in our child’s potential helps them create it and make it a reality.

Here are the first step in Holding a Space:  I designed this process and first it changed me and ultimately changed Jessica.

STEP ONE: Create a Grand Vision. The goal of the first step is to create a Grand Vision in your mind for this child.  A vision of a space where you always believe in them and their ability to thrive and achieve greatness to become what they were truly created to be.  Demonstrating this constantly reminds your child of who they are, for they will see as in the mirror of your heart a positive self in the positive space you are holding for them.  Think of it this way:  You have been chosen for an amazing assignment to be the guard at the gate-to watch this child unfold into his or her true self.

Step one is easier than you might think.  You have really already completed it many years ago. All you have to do is to remember the first thoughts you had when glimpsing sight of your newborn child for the first time.… Continue reading →

Definition: Holding a Space:  Believing passionately in our child’s potential helps them create it and make it a reality.

I originated the concept,  Holding a Space out of necessity in my own life.  My daughter, Jessica, had graduated from high school and been in and out of colleges for two years without much success.  She had attended four colleges and changed majors six times.  I realized she didn’t have any confidence or belief in her own ability to earn a college degree, although she professed to want one.  I talked to her, advised her, and counseled her. I even suggested she see a therapist or coach.  Nothing seemed to work.  Her college savings I had so carefully put aside was quickly dwindling with little progress to show for it.

I begin to realize that not only did she not believe in herself.  I didn’t believe in her either!  I was fearful and frustrated with her. Would she be on my payroll forever?  I was afraid for her future. I felt desperately sure that she must get that college education to have a happy and productive life. Could she ever be happy in a family of college graduates?  I… Continue reading →